City House, Country House
by Andy Hays
In their most recent advertisement the ironically named, Squaw financed coalition, Save Olympic Valley (SOV) enlisted a pair of second home owners, San Francisco couple Terry and Heidi Deveau, to share their concerns with the incorporation efforts.
“We’re concerned that Squaw does not have enough qualified people to run a town…”
Yes, they decided to go there, It seems Andy Wirth and his friends don’t think that you are smart and capable enough to govern yourselves. No matter that this is one of the founding principles of this nation. No matter that all across America you find communities that are incorporated cities, in fact it is more the rule than the exception. Not this mountain town, however, I suppose your college degree, life and professional experiences just don’t add up to all that much, because, well, you know, you live in the mountains. City people just know better, because well, they just do. Mr. Wirth doesn’t live in the city but he has money, and money trumps any other qualifier. Besides, his company is from Denver, and Denver is kind of a city, albeit in the mountains so the jury is still out on that one.
City people who own homes in the mountains know the most because they know what’s best for themselves and they also know what is best for mountain people even though mountain people sometimes don’t know it and just need a little push in the right direction. That’s where Mr. Wirth steps in. He’s kind of pushy. He also likes to wear plaid which allows him to blend in with the mountain people. He also wears fleece vests which allow him to blend in with real estate agents. Mountain people don’t know how to dress. Sure they can dress for the side of a mountain but they can’t dress to run a town. Mountain people would probably show up to council meetings in a hooded sweat shirt or something. I’m not convinced mountain people even own ties. Wearing ties is a major requirement of running a town.
City people know complicated city things like alternate parking that gives them special insight into how government works. They also use things like public transportation and sewers and water which means they know a great deal about it. Mountain people are inherently lazy and don’t worry about the future. City people worry about the future…but not too much because their portfolios are diversified and are beating industry averages. When City people were in college they spent theirSunday evenings in the library. If mountain people went to college they spent their time drinking beverages out of some kind of funnel. Mountain people still have outstanding fines at the library from the one book took out. Mountain people don’t read, they only look at the pictures.
City people like the mountains but they don’t like the mountains without their city stuff. Hence the Starbucks on the top of the mountain. Mr. Wirth wants to make Squaw look like a city but rather ironically he wants to prevent it from becoming one in reality. Perhaps if he could annex it to San Francisco. Clearly Mr. and Mrs. Deveau know a thing or two about what it takes to run a town, or at least they seem to know what it doesn’t take. That’s all that counts really.