by Rachel Marie
So, you’re getting ready to move to a mountain town. You have your job lined up and you have saved a few thousand to make sure you get setup well when you get there. There are a few things you can do to make your transition easier.
1) If you’re a female, find your best photos, then photoshop them to look even better. Create a Tinder account with those photos then swipe “like” on every photo. This is sort of what being a female in a mountain town feels like.
If your male, put up only your worst photos and then only swipe “like” on profiles where you know your friends have already hooked up with her. Get used to it.
2) Anything you currently feel at all odd buying from your local drugstore, but a 6 month supply. Soon, you will know every person working and if you feel awkward now, think about how odd you’ll feel walking through the store with a bottle of Monistat or Wart cream while running into no less than 3 people you know.
3) Assess your current footwear situation. Uggs are not winter boots. Let me say this again, Uggs are NOT winter boots. Most boots are not winter boots. Winter boots are expensive in ski towns. Find yourself something before you get to your new home.
4) Begin drinking heavily. They say you get drunker faster at elevation. Studies show this is a myth and more likely due to you exhibiting signs of elevation sickness and therefor feeling more intoxicated. Start working on your ability to drink 5 nights a week while remembering to drink extra water.
5) Cardio. Someone is going to invite you to go on a hike and ski something cool. What you should really be worried about is making sure the batteries in your avy beacon are charged, but it’s your first season and you trust this person for whatever reason. So start doing extrenuous cardio exercises while wearing a few layers of sweatshirts, carrying a 20 lb backpack and then blasting your air conditioner onto your naked body for 15 minutes when you’re finished. The hike will feel a bit like this. It’s best you be ready.
6) Get used to being perpetually cold. Even if you think you have enough money to pay your 1/3rd of your utilities, one of your roommates won’t and they will be the one turning the thermostat down to 55 every time they walk by it.
7) Get used to walking. Wherever you live, you’re going to have to walk somewhere. I know you think that driving in the snow is easy and of course you are a fantastic driver. But now you’re dealing with snowstorms that produce feet of snow and thousands of tourists that may have never driven in more than a cm.
8) Accept the fact that someone is going to steal your jacket while you are at the bar on a night where it’s 0 degrees out. Don’t complain, just accept it. And why did you bring a nice jacket to the bar in the first place? Get yourself a bar jacket.
9) Realize that if you’re putting something off for 1 season in the mountains before you go and do whatever, you’re really just giving up on those aspirations. In 8 season’s you’ll ask yourself why you’re still working ski school, but you’ll be happy.
10) Change your morning alarm clock. The above distant explosions sound or perhaps the sound from a violent war movie could work as well. You may wonder why anyone would want to wake up to the sound of bombs, but in ski town world, it’s crucial. It means there was enough snow last night that they are bombing for avalanches. It’s the only time in your life where you’ll love the sound.