Aspen Ski Bum Guilty for Felony Arson After Botched Penis Prank

Next time you’ve got the Sharpie out, about to draw an innocent phallus on someone, you’ll want to think ahead. An Aspen ski bum has pleaded guilty to fourth-degree felony arson, after setting his own house on fire back in January in retaliation for a classic drunken prank.

According to an affidavit, 25 year old Stephen Elmore got black out drunk and awoke to find some choice male anatomy scribbled on his face. Not a fan of the reported “balls” drawn on him, Elmore became enraged, went downstairs to the garage, and lit some shoes on fire, all before passing out in his room….right next to the garage. Thankfully, his roommates discovered the fire and put it out before firefighters arrived and it caused any major damage.

When confronted by police, Elmore denied starting the fire, and stated, no joke:

“Can’t you just work with me bro? I was thinking irrationally.”

After being arrested and charged with felony arson, he pleaded guilty last week to avoid doing hard time. He was sentenced to two years probation, and if he completes the mandatory drug, alcohol, mental health treatments, and stays out of trouble, the conviction will get wiped from his record.

As of right now, the alleged penis artist, Elmore’s 37 year old female roommate, is not facing any charges. Although the public records may eventually forget the name Stephen Elmore, this story will surely be passed down from generation to generation of Aspen ski bums until the end of time.