One of skiing’s most prestigious racing awards, the World Cup’s Crystal Globe, has come under intense criticism todayย from a group that claims the Globes are hurting children. In a statement released today, the group says the FIS Globe trophies are giving a false sense of reality to impressionable young athletes. โAll those images you see of Mikaela Shiffrin, Lindsey Vonn, Marcel Hirscher, and everybody else holding up those Globes after winning a race is reinforcing the wrong message to young athletes all around the world that the earth is round, when in fact it is flat.โ
The group claims that the earth is flat and, therefore, the iconic emblem of FIS racing should be redesigned to reflect its disk-like shape. Fans of World Cup racing have been thrown off kilter by the prospect of redesigning it’s most revered award. Enshrined in tradition since it was first given out in 1967, changing the 9 kilogram glass ball would be a huge challenge, but according to the statement, we can’t sit idly by: โIn a sport that is always pushing the edge, we need to be pushing for the edge of the world.โ
One of the group’s founders, Mike Winkalotski says: โThis doesn’t just affect people in the USA or Europe, this is a global problem.โ An avid telemark skier himself, he says that a sport as free-spirited as skiing shouldn’t be held back by tradition. โWe need to move, grow, and evolve, and not be held back by society’s misguided expectations. The next generation needs to be free to decide for itself what it will believe.โ But not everyone is convinced. Some opponents have nicknamed him โsaucer-guyโ for his views about the shape of the earth. One naysayer said, โthe only way these Globe awards could hurt children is if one shattered over their heads.โ
An extreme skier commenting on condition of anonymity, said that if the ice ring circling the edge of the world is discovered he would be more than happy to be the first sponsored athlete to ski off the edge.
Why are you giving these people coverage?
Ahโฆ never mind. 4/1. (Maybe this is just a little too close to reality these days to make a good joke.)