CHOOSE YOUR OWN BROVENTURE:
Bro, I can’t believe it bro. Seriously bro, I thought we was hella tight? Bra, we was bros, bro, like the Bash Brothers, the Blues Brothers, like Bartles and James and shit. Bro, don’t you remember when we used to__________?
A). Shred the gnar like almost every day.
B). Not shred the gnar and get hella drunk off jager instead.
C). Get hella drunk off jager and shred the gnar.
D). Drink hella jager and watch lifetime movies.
Bro, I always had your back. You can’t forget that time______?
A). I helped you hide from the cops that time you crashed your car into a telephone pole.
B). I helped you report your car stolen that time you crashed your car into a telephone pole.
C). I helped you with all those dead hookers in your trunk that time you crashed your car into a telephone pole.
D). I lent you $20 when you couldn’t pay your bar tab.
Bro, remember that time you drunkenly crashed your car into a telephone pole and then reported it stolen? Remember how rad it was when you totally took the insurance money and_________?
A). Bought a keg and had a sick rager at the house.
B). Bought a crappy truck but lifted the shit out of it.
C). Bought a sick new sled instead of a car.
D). Bought all that weed you were going to flip for a huge profit but we just ended up smoking it all instead. That was hella sick bra.
Bro, then there was that time that it was so epic!!! We_______
A). Got all that pow and shredded the Stash at Northstar.
B). We built that sick booter and almost hit it.
C.) Drank that whole bottle of Fireball and made that sick edit.
D). Got all those beers at the bar but only got charged for like half.
Bro, we’ve been bros for like years bro. Like Simon and Garfunkle and shizz. Bro we’ve been totally holdin’ it down bro. Party crew bro. Party crew on the regular bro. Remember that party_________?
A). You were supposed to be the designated driver but you got totally faced instead.
B). I was totally mackin’ on that chick but you swooped in and grabbed her when I was getting us some beers.
C). You were supposed to be the designated driver but you got totally faced instead and left with that chick you swooped in on and left me stranded at the party with a bunch of weird dudes.
D). That guy got pissed because we were drinking hella beers and he said we weren’t even invited so we totally gave him an “upperdecker.”
Bra, we’ve been bra’s for so long that it was totally chill that time that you_________.
A). Drunkenly crashed into my car in the drive way.
B). You got hella wasted and tried to hit me with one of the “Guitar Hero” guitars.
C). Invited that super sketchy tweeker guy we met at 7-11 back to our house and then you passed out leaving me to listen to his stories about some chick he used to know and her brother and how they owe him money or something but he can’t get it back because she works for the phone company and his phone is tapped which is why he wants to use mine to call her up and get his money.
D). It was the World Series and the cable went out because you forgot to pay.
Serious bro, I thought we was tight bro? Bro, I know you my
bro, bro, but the other day when I came home and opened up the refrigerator and ___________.
A). Bro you finished all three bottles of dressing and put them back anyway.
B). Bro you took one bite out of all three of my slices of pizza. Why, bro why?
C). Bro you drank the entire 12er of PBR while I was at work.
D). You had decided to store a strange dead cat in the freezer.
Bro, I was hella pissed bro. I tried to be chill bra, but then I found out that you had ________.
Remember just last week when we was talkin’ about respect bra. Karma bra. We was talkin’ about respect bro last week after you had________.
A). Let that sketchy tweeker we met at 7-11 that night borrow my favorite lucky bennie. I don’t care how cold the tweeker is bro, if he needs to borrow a favorite lucky bennie he can borrow yours.
B). Banged that random drunk girl you brought home in my bed because your bedroom was too messy.
C). Lost my copy of The Big Lebowski.
D). Traded my dog to those hippies for some molly and a bag of weed.
Bro, I don’t even know if you are my bro, bro. You totally think it’s chill bra. No joke bro, I know you think it’s funny but_______.
A). It wasn’t cool when you didn’t strap my sled on and it fell out the back of your truck.
B). It wasn’t cool when you shot all of those roman candles at the neighbors house and then turned off all the lights and hid and the cops questioned me in the drive way when I got home from work.
C). It wasn’t cool when you went to that EDM party and hooked up with my younger sister.
D). It wasn’t cool when you told everyone on Facebook that I was gay.
Bro, you’ve got to be kidding me bro. I can’t even believe that you thought it was a good idea to_______.
A). Let that tweeker guy we met at 7-11 stay on the couch. I think he might have stolen my copy of The Big Lebowski.
B). Take a bite out of each one of my pizza slices. Seriously bro, that’s some ‘f’ed up shit.
C). Use your half of the rent to buy weed to flip for a quick profit but just end up smoking it all with that tweeker dude we met at 7-11 when he was staying on our couch.
D). Tell my Mom, when she called in regard to the Facebook post, that you hadn’t seen me in at least three days and suspected that I might had moved to the North of Africa in search of the Foreign Legion.
Bro, I have other bros, bro, but bro, you was totally my bro. I can’t believe that it would end like this. Bro, I totally thought you was my bro untill_________.
A). You drank all my beer bro!
B). Took your dad’s season tickets for the playoff game but went with my sister instead.
C). That was totally my beer bro!
D). You posted naked pictures of my sister on the internet.
Sayonora brahiem, I’ll catch you later in bra bra land. It’s been toasty but I’m outtie 3,000 bra. Bro I’m not going to_________.
A). Do your dirty work no more.
B). Get black out drunk off of Rumplemintz and wake up spooning next to you ever again.
C). Give you back your Nickleback CD.
D). Ever be the same.
One thought on “Choose Your Own BroVenture:”
So many brain cells lost while reading this (and there’s no one to blame but myself).