President-Elect Donald Trump announced this morning that the USA will be building a mountainous north-south island chain off the East Coast of the USA in an effort to boost the US economy, create jobs, and compete with foreign rivals. Â
“If China is building man-made islands, we’re going to build better islands.  These islands will be tremendous.  They’ll be big league, they’ll be amazing, they’ll be terrific, and they’ll be built by me with Trump Towers in the most beautiful locations and Trump Ski Resorts on the best slopes.” – President-Elect Donald Trump, today
Trump’s newly formed cabinet has been pushing for these islands since its inception and feels the man-made island chain should be priority number one of the Trump administration.
WHY IS TRUMP BUILDING THESE ISLANDS:
Snow. Â Trump is building these island to harvest huge amounts of snow.
Let us explain:
Japan is the snowiest place on Earth thanks to a cold wind that comes off the Asian continent, picks up moisture off the Sea of Japan, then dumps that moisture in the form of snow on the isles of Japan . Â “Sea-Effect Snow”.
The East Coast of the USA has the exact same set up as Japan, except that our precious flakes of snow are hideously wasted as they’re thrown back into the sea like so much disregarded radioactive wastewater.
Trumps wants to change all that.
“Just yesterday, Mother Nature mocked us as “Sea-Effect Snow” buried Japan and our American “Sea-Effect Snow” wafted uselessly back into the sea off the East Coast of the USA. Â We can’t have that. Â We can’t have that.” – President-elect Donald Trump
We looked into these claims by the president-elect and they appear to check out.
Weather Channel meteorologist Tom Niziol supports president-elect Trump on this topic – saying this just yesterday:
“The first satellite image is of sea-effect snow bands that develop in response to cold air from Eurasia crossing the warmer waters of the Sea of Japan [image just above] and pummel the western side of the islands with snow. Well, we are seeing the same “effect” today as cold air moves off the Northeast US and crosses out over the Atlantic Ocean [2nd image above]. That’s a waste of some good snow…I propose a man-made island where we can send snow lovers to enjoy the “ocean-effect” snow
:)” – Tom Niziol, The Weather Channel, yesterday
“Nobody respects skiers more than I do.” – President-elect Donald Trump
Whatever your political affiliation, you’ve got to be excited about these islands and the absolutely tremendous skiing and riding that they’re going to be bring the United States of America.
Thanks, Trump!
Am I on The Onion???? The hubris! What a blowhard! Blasphemy against nature, finance, and true and rational human needs.
Too warm down and variable weather out there. Would have to build the island 4000 ft above sea level for it to be any good.
Pile up NYC garbage near Buffalo NY then put grass and ski lifts on it.
Viola, Instant ski hill with lots of lake effect snow !
Mt Trashmore in Va Beach,VA is a good example of a park on a pile of trash !
Thanks for all the comments, guys.
Ok, I hear you. We thought this would be funny and we were trying to be politically neutralish here, but I don’t think everyone took it that way.
Honestly, we want these islands. We’ve spent 4 seasons in Japan and will be there again this January. It’s unreal what that Sea Effect Snow can do…
I think I’ll rewrite this and call it:
“Why We Should Build Islands Off The East Coast of the USA”
It’ll still be a joking article as obviously we can’t and shouldn’t build mountainous isles off the East Coast. But it’ll be true in that we do wish there were islands there to harvest all that Sea Effect Snow.
Whattaythink?
This is an embarrassingly bad article, even by Snowbrains efforts at humor. Alpine opened yesterday, Squaw today and nothing? Didn’t Miles spend weeks in Patagonia and beyond and still no content.
Leave the crap fake articles for The jaded local.
Hey Jesstopher, thanks for the comments.
I just got back from 2 weeks ski guiding in Antarctica. Working on the trip report now. Should be live on Monday or Tuesday.
Patagonia was unreal this season. Wrap up here:
http://snowbrains.com/bariloche-argentina-2016-season-recap-photo-tour-6-powder-cycles-in-7-weeks/
Weekly reports from Patagonia this summer here:
http://snowbrains.com/page/2/?s=bariloche
Happy Thanksgiving weekend!
This is a pretty embarrassing article. Has Snowbrains simply given up?
Apparently Snow Brains is the new Facebook.
On a complete idiot would not realize this is satire…
I guess the jokes on me.
ha ha tom doesn’t get it
I second Eric’s comment. Sure Murph, he is a real big dreamer. With his head up his ass. He should be embarrassed. Will he build the islands before or after he builds the wall on the Mexican border????? OH, who will pay for this????? We go from Obama to a complete idiot who wants to destroy the earth. Where does he think Baron is going to live in a bubble inside of Trump towers? Sad times are coming.
It’s not April Fools Day, but Tom Niziol, from the Weather Channel posted on FB “Yes everyone, it’s a joke”. I hope SnowBrains was not dumb enough to fall for it. They have posted some pretty dumb or poorly researched stuff in the past, but not with such an obviously made-up byline.
some people dream bigger,also would save coast from storm surge
What a moron